5 Reasons Your Libido Is Down And What To Do About It

Gourmandize

One day you're raring to go, tearing off your guy's clothes or planning sexy surprises so he can do the same to you. And the next, your sex drive feels like a deflated balloon. What gives?

Your libido is based on a combination of inherent and external factors. Maybe you've never craved sex that often. Or maybe you need to get busy at least once a day in order to satisfy your body's quota for pleasure. And then there is the possibility that you fall somewhere in between. Regardless of your innate desires, there are certain outside influences that can put a damper on your sexual appetite without you even realizing it. Here are 5 reasons you might be feeling low on lust. 

1. Stress

Problem: Stress kills the moment in pretty much any situation. When you have too much on your plate, you're not going to be able to mentally relax, which is key for getting in the mood. 

Solution: When things start to feel a bit chaotic or you're feeling tons of pressure from work- or family-related matters, identify and make a list of all the stress-reducing activities that work for you. Try exercising, meditation, decluttering your house or removing unnecessary engagements from your calendar. Find what works for you, and put it into practice anytime you start to feel the stress monster creeping up.

2. Contraceptives

Problem: Women need certain levels of testosterone in the body to rev their sexual desire, but once you start taking birth control, that can alter production of this hormone by momentarily "knocking out" your ovaries, which are responsible for producing testosterone. 

Solution: If you think this might be the culprit to your waning desire, ask your doctor to prescribe a different contraceptive to see if the varying hormone levels affect anything. You could also go off birth control for a period of time to see if it is indeed what's behind your libido dip.

3. Pregnancy or childbirth

Problem: Pregnant women often see fluctuating libido levels due to weight gain, fatigue and hormonal changes before, during and after childbirth. 

Solution: This issue requires working up your appetite, and we're not talking about food. Engage in sensual activities, such as watching sexy movies or reading erotic books. Discuss your feelings with your partner so they're aware of your insecurities and can do everything possible to shoo them away (compliments, expressing desire, etc.). Try making love at different times of day depending on when you're feeling most awake, and set the scene (candles in the bath, romantic dinner table, etc.). 

4. LTR fatigue

Problem: Unfortunately, in long-term relationships, there are times when familiarity does breed contempt. Maybe you guys have given up on trying new things, are less spontaneous and passionate or let yourselves get so busy, you think you don't even have time for sex.

Solution: Tell yourself there's always time to get busy with your partner. It doesn't have to be a long, drawn-out lovemaking session every time. A morning quickie from time to time can help to spice things up or sending random sexy texts when your partner isn't expecting them. Lingerie is great for special occasions, but you could even whip it out on a normal evening for even more surprise. Also, make sure you're not spending too much time together, as researchers have found that most people are most attracted to their significant other when they're not with them, which creates a build-up of desire for when they "reunite."

5. Alcohol

Problem: Alcohol might be responsible for setting things in motion...or putting them at a halt. We're not talking about a nice glass of red before bedtime but rather the 4-5 drinks that you slammed at happy hour, which will make you less receptive to touch, therefore killing your buzz when you go to get busy between the sheets.

Solution: It's really simple: pay attention to how much you're drinking and learn your limits. Once you know how many drinks will tip your libido over the edge, you can make sure to keep it below this number. It's probably better for your health anyway.

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