CHEATING on your partner: To tell or not to tell?
We hope you never find yourselves in this terribly sticky situation, but in the case that you do, here's our advice on whether or not to break the news to your partner. Warning: It could make or break your relationship in the end.
When you should come clean
- If you can't stop thinking about the woman you cheated withThis will only put more strain on yourself and take away from the relationship you're in. Admitting to your partner what happened means you're addressing the situation and not letting your feelings escalate.
- If you are still in contact with her and have to hide it from your partnerThis is called having an affair. Whether you're still seeing the other woman or simply text messaging, it involves doing something behind your partner's back, knowing it could hurt her. Coming clean is the right thing to do.
- If you are starting to feel emotionally involved with her
The minute you start thinking you might have feelings for this other woman, you need to let your partner know. She won't be happy, of course, but it might help you discover what led to your indiscretion, based on missing elements in your current (official) relationship.
- If you are considering leaving your current partner for herThis is a no-brainer. If you're thinking of bailing, you better man up and have "the conversation." No one deserves to be cheated on and left without being told the whole story.
- If your partner confronts youIf you get caught red-handed, do yourself a favor and don't lie. You not only look like a real jackass, but you're also going to send the relationship down the wrong path.
when you should zip your lips
- If it was a one-time thingMistakes happen, but this was a BIG one. That being said, if you realize it was a mistake and never plan to commit it again, then you might be better off keeping it to yourself. This doesn't excuse anything, but if it meant nothing to you, then leave it that way. Don't inflict unnecessary anguish on your lady just to make yourself feel better for 'fessing up.
- If you genuinely feel bad and don't want to relive this kind of guilt ever again
If you're beating yourself up about what you did, it means you recognize the gravity of your mistake, and it certainly wasn't intentional. Also, if you don't want to drop a bomb on your relationship and you truly love your partner, don't ignite the fire. Think about your actions and what drove you to them instead. You owe her that much.
- If you know you can prevent yourself from slipping up againThere are some who say they can't help themselves, but we're sorry, fellas. If your lady can keep her stuff locked up from other men, you can keep it in your pants, too. No one forces you to commit acts of infidelity. Ultimately, you have to control your actions.
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